No Need for Wingmen
by brilliant star
Summary: Nico and Maki talk about their crushes.


Her plate of salad is slowly growing warm beneath the afternoon sun despite the table umbrella's best efforts to provide shade. Nico picks at the vegetables with a fork, frowning and glancing now and then at both ends of the street from the restaurant's outdoor patio. To anyone else, she'd probably look like a young high school girl nervously waiting for her date to arrive.

And if anyone openly assumed such a thing Nico would bristle like a small angry animal and viciously correct them— _no,_ how dare they mistake her for a high schooler, she's in her third year of college for crying out loud.

Eventually someone does arrive, sporting a pair of designer sunglasses that hides shadows from studying far too late into the night. The woman offers a casual wave as she approaches. Nico doesn't bother standing up to greet her.

"Well, well, if it isn't the princess herself, finally arriving after letting poor little Nico wait for..."

"Five minutes. I'm only five minutes late."

"Yeah, whatever. You're still late."

Maki rolls her eyes, but then remembers Nico wouldn't be able to see it behind her sunglasses. She pulls the other available chair out and sits down, and picks up a flimsy menu. The half-eaten plate of salad in front of Nico earns a raised brow.

"You already ordered? Jeez, like I said, it's only been five minutes."

"It was definitely longer than that! At least eight!" Nico bares her teeth, and it looks like she's going to throw one of the olives in her salad at Maki but the arrival of a waitress makes her pause. Maki notes the way the tenseness in Nico's shoulders all but dissipates.

"Oh! Your friend arrived after all!" The waitress has a soft face and a pleasant smile. Her nametag, slightly crooked but not enough to suggest intentional sloppiness (but rather, clumsiness), reads: KOIZUMI HANAYO. There's a certain charm in the way she fumbles with her notepad.

"Y-yeah," Nico scratches her head, hunched over and looking the other way. Her eyes dart to the side to steal indirect glimpses of Hanayo. "So I guess we can finally order now."

This is definitely something that needs to be pressed further, but Maki is merciful enough to wait until that waitress, Hanayo, leaves with their orders. Once she's gone, Nico immediately settles back into a scowl and tightly crosses her arms like she's a coiled spring ready to snap out. Maki's no psychologist, but Nico's as easy to read as a picture book.

"What? You're looking at me funny." Her lip curls up in a half-snarl. _Like a tiny dog trying to look threatening_ , Maki wryly notes.

"Me? What about the way _you_ were looking at the waitress?"

"I wasn't even looking at her!"

Maki doesn't bother gracing that with another retort and crosses her arms as well, though not as stiffly as Nico. "You know, it's been more than a week since the last time we talked. What exactly have you been up to?"

Nico's small, childish face contorts into a grimace. "None of your business. I was busy."

"Nico-chan!" the light, nervous voice of the waitress trills. "A-and, um, Nico-chan's friend? Here!" She hurries over and places a plate of steamed clams between them. "It's on the house."

 _Nico-chan, huh?_

"You seem familiar with her," Maki notes.

"Oh, yes! Nico-chan's a regular here!" Hanayo beams and Nico looks like her face is going to burst into flames. Now that's a look Maki's never seen before. She ought to take a picture. "This is the first time she brought a friend along. It's nice to meet you! Ah— and, please, enjoy your appetizer!"

It's all falling neatly into place in perfect succession, and Maki could almost groan at how obvious the situation is now. For the sake of Nico's dignity she acts oblivious for now, twirling her hair and looking off at another table where a girl is shoving the complimentary bread into her mouth at an impressive (if not downright terrifying) speed. Her friend is pleading for her to slow down or else she might choke and _die_.

"... She's cute, isn't she?" Maki casually notes, keeping Nico within the corner of her vision. Just as she was hoping and expecting, Nico sputters on her water, sending droplets down on her blouse and the tablecloth.

"Who?!"

"The waitress. I think she's cute."

"So you think she's cute too, huh?! Well, back off! I saw her... first..."

Nico's forehead slams down on the table, narrowly missing her salad and earning a startled jump from another customer sitting nearby. The sausage on their fork falls and rolls away across the ground. Absolutely tragic.

"Incredible. I didn't think Nico Yazawa was capable of seeing anyone aside from herself as _cute_." This is almost too easy. Maki smugly helps herself to some clams.

"Shut your mouth."

Is it too late for Nico to dig underground and start a new life as a mole person? It's sounding more tempting by the second. She still hasn't removed her face from the table. Not even half a minute has passed and she's starting to look pitiable, and Maki can't bring herself to twist the knife even further. The last time Nico had reluctantly (very, very reluctantly) confided in Maki that she had a crush on someone several years ago in high school, Maki had bluntly told her it wouldn't go anywhere. It took a while after that for them to reconcile, and ever since then Nico hasn't been quite as open to Maki as she used to be.

Is it not a best friend's duty to support the other? Sometimes Maki can't deny Nico's accusations of her being socially inept and awkward. She sighs and reaches over to pat Nico on the shoulder and the other girl noticeably stiffens.

"If it'll make you feel better... I like someone, too."

As if a flip had been switched, Nico's upper body swings upright, her own hair whipping herself across the face.

Nico slowly grins. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"It's that weird kid in our biology lab who meows like a cat, isn't it?!"

Maki balks. "Wh-what?! How did you—"

"Oh, please. I've seen you making moony eyes at her from across the room. Kinda like this," Nico widens her eyes and bats her eyelashes, gazing somewhere past Maki and clasping her hands beside her cheek. " _Oh, weird cat girl, you're soooo hot! Too bad I'm way too awkward to ever talk to you myself~!"_

"Shut up! Shut up! That sounded nothing like me, you jerk!"

" _Oooh, cat girl, oooh!_ "

Hanayo arrives just in time to witness Maki hurling clamshells at Nico, while the latter ducks and dodges and laughs hysterically. Customers around them are staring. Even the girl who had been shoveling down bread like her life depended on it looks embarrassed by the scene Nico and Maki are making. Hanayo nervously clears her throat. "U-um..."

"Oh, crap—!" Nico freezes and a clamshell smacks her across the face. "Ow-!"

"Er... I can explain?" Maki's other arm is still cocked back, clamshell in hand.

"I-I brought you your food..." Hanayo looks very, very uncertain, and maybe even a little frightened too. Nico looks like she's on the verge of devastation, and red is seeping up her neck and to her ears and cheeks. She frantically waves her hands in front of her.

"This isn't what it looks like! That psycho was assaulting me with clamshells for no reason!"

"Hey, who're you calling a psycho?!"

"You, obviously! Ahh, here I was, minding my own business... when all of the sudden there's this horrible barrage of clams—"

" _Cut it out,_ already! Sheesh!" Maki slams her hands on the table, making both Nico and Hanayo start. Poor Hanayo nearly drops their plates of food, and she flinches when Maki turns to face her, whipping her sunglasses off. "This idiot here has a big embarrassing crush on you and wants to ask you out on a date. There!"

"Maaakiiii, you _asshole_ —!"

"E-eh?"

"I swear I have no idea what she's talking about, I don't even know her, I—"

"What time?"

Nico freezes. Her ears are as bright as steamed lobsters. "... Huh?"

"What time will you pick me up?" Hanayo finally sets down their plates of food before them, smiling hesitantly. "U-um, of course, unless if your friend really was kidding..."

"No, no no yeah!" Nico suddenly stands up, and Maki has to hold back a snort when she sees how much shorter than the waitress her friend is. "How about seven? We can go out to see a movie, or something, or, uh."

"Mm! A movie sounds nice," Hanayo whispers. She pulls out her notepad and pen from somewhere and scribbles down something, and tears the sheet away to pass to Nico. "Thank you, Nico-chan." She quickly bows to Maki. "Thank you, too— enjoy your food!"

Nico holds the paper in her cupped palms as if it holds the secret to the universe, slowly settling back down in her chair. Really, it just has Hanayo's phone number, but still. Almost indifferently, Maki takes a bite of her food and puts her sunglasses back on. "So? That worked out, didn't it?"

A few seconds pass before Nico comes back to reality, carefully folding up the paper and slipping it into her pocket. She looks oddly composed, but a certain glint in her eye makes Maki shudder. "Yeah... so, as my way of saying thanks, I'm hooking you up with that weird cat kid from biology."

"H-hey, you don't have to-!"

"Speak of the devil... cat. Isn't that her coming down the sidewalk there?"

It is. Maki can't believe both her misfortune and luck. She buries her face in her hands and prays that Rin won't notice her and walk right past them, but obviously Nico won't let that happen.

"Hey, you! Yeah! You over there!"

Rin pauses, swivels on her heels, and bounces over. "Ohhh, hey! Aren't you guys from my biology lab, nya?"

"Nico-chan. Don't. Don't do this to me."

Nope. Too late. Nico points to Rin, then at Maki with an exaggerated flourish and the biggest shit-eating grin.

"Guess who has a huge gay crush on you?!"

* * *

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 **A/N:** I have no excuse for this.


End file.
